It’s been about 10 years since I’ve seen him. I was so angry for so very long. I dreamed of him recently and it was hot and sexy and apparently where my missing libido has been hiding. But then it was soft and tender and we apologized and I cried.
I wish I could apologize. I wish I could tell him that I’m sorry I acted like a psycho ex instead of as his friend who loves him.
I wish I could tell him he’ll always have a place in my heart.
I wish I could tell him that he made me feel special in ways no one else can.
I wish I could tell him that I understand now that “imzadi” doesn’t mean we were meant to marry or be lovers or anything like that. It means our hearts and souls are bound together and that’s all there is to it. Defining it isn’t relevant or even useful.
I wish I could tell him that I miss him.
I wish I could tell him that I love him and I always will.