Robin

The news of his suicide freaked me out so much.  I don’t know exactly why.

Maybe because I was suicidal for so long.  I know how tempting it is.  I know how it feels to just want everything to STOP.  All the racing thoughts, all the too-much feelings, all of it, just wanting it to stop.  Forever.

But I also know now that I can feel better, that there’s always a reason to go on, that the future can be better than we imagine it.  I feel so sorry for his family.  There will always be a WHY in their minds and hearts that can never be answered.

He was a bigger part of my life than I realized.  Another little piece of my youth gone.  I’ve seen a lot of his movies.  A lot of his stand up.  A lot of interviews and specials and… gods he made me laugh so hard!  I found his mind amazing.  So fast!  So funny!  So completely original!

And he was Mork.  I adored Mork.  I had the same suspenders.  He was the most original and unique thing I’d ever seen at that point in my life.

Dead Poets Society made me want to teach until I told myself I couldn’t do it.  I wanted that fervor, that energy!

He was One Of Us too.  A gamer.  A geek.  An outsider.

I hope you can rest now, Robin.  I hope the pain is finally gone.

But if the funniest man in the world gives up, what hope do the rest of us have?

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